LANDSLIDE

A landslide threatens to sweep me down the mountainside. All of my Christian strategy and knowledge have failed lately and my I feel like a teapot about ready to blow its top. When the rubber hits the road, the bottom line is that daily living and life can seem impossible to balance. I can't take anymore.

The last straw is ready to take my back down. The pain in my jaw and neck have been almost unbearable and it takes about 25 minutes for the muscles of my jaw, neck and throat to get relaxed, so I can fall asleep. I lay in bed, cry and can barely even intercede in prayer with You and Me's Pastor Dortch.

My precious father has been in the hospital for many weeks again and I miss him so. Seeing him suffer so and the doctors having no idea how to treat him has really discouraged me and I have lost hope in the medical system. They have done nothing more me either and I languish here.

God can be my ONLY hope to healing me and bringing this awful pain to pass.
My own mother ans sister have also alienated themselves from me. I am so spend from the relational and spiritual tug of war that pulls at my soul. And I try to be a listening ear for those in my circle who are going through their own hurricanes. It is heartbreaking to see so many people who are juggling multiple storms.

Some turn to music, some to drugs, some give up and become hermits and isolate themselves. I cry. All I can do is weep for us all. Can anyone remedy all this hurt?
MY poor husband is tire and angry...burned out by awaking at 5:30 am every morning and having to fight traffic for an hour. He is battered by the onslaught of arrogant service men who are unhappy with their routes, some are hunters who brag about all the does and fawns that they've shot and supervisors who criticize and accuse him that he is not doing his job properly. How can I expect him to have patience with me and my lack of patience. Several of our unruly male cats takes over the house jumping onto the stove and counter to get into and drag food all over the place. How many times have I asked hubby to supervise their activities? The white ferret chews apart every rubber and plastic item she can get sink her teeth into and uses every corner of the house as her toilet area. Frustrating!?

Besides trying to balance all my errands and duties of my indie music ministry which in itself entails a myriad of small things to be accomplished. Not to forget my heart of compassion for the many in my life who are going through unbelievable heartbreak, deaths of loved ones and serious illness. Quite a few more new people on my personal prayer list. I see their facers in the night as I lay in bed and wish I could quenceh every sorrow and tear from their eyes! Does anyone care?

The life of a Servant of God in these times can be overwhelming and heavy. I barely have the energy to be submissive and soft spoken and my strong voice betrays my frustration. Disagreements are fighting fire with fire. Unconsciously, my emotions are like tender fists in boxing gloves, held up against my husband unintentional blows. He never means me harm, but in my fragile, tender and angst-ridden state, every statement seems like a condescending barb. He's too worn out to deal with anything more than a dirty litter box. I must quietly find someplace else or some other ears to protest about the unnecessary nonsense I've dealt with.

So where does a small warrior go for rest? Thank God for tears and a gentle kitten or else surely I'd go mad. I want to make to world go away. Even more I want to be translated and get off this planet. The enemy has released legions of demons upon this planet and all are inundated with every type to irritant. Sickness, family schisms in families, prodigal children, adulterous spouses, bankruptcies, unemployment, car problems. We're waging a raging war. As enlisted soldiers, we won't survive unless we're bathed in the Holy Spirit's strength and wearing the armor of God.
When faced with a landslide, one must STAND! God know how much we can handle...and sometimes it is an amazing amount. Imagine that He thinks we can actually handle it! OH...but we need to help carry each others burden.

Shepherd, we are weary.